MODERN MUM: Find your support group when you have newborn

Not only would they offer physical support but also emotional support and wisdom through their experiences.

For those of us living far from home, we have limited physical support, but wireless technology has allowed us to ‘import’ our support system through the telephone. I talk to my family every single day.

I would talk to my father separately, then my mother, then my sister, then my aunt or cousins or even my mother-in-law. Luckily, everyone in my family is trying their hardest to provide me with that emotional support that they know I am lacking in my physical space.

While their intentions are good and I do find their support comforting and encouraging, I often dissociate from their ‘wisdom’. The wisdom of the good old days of “sleep when the baby sleeps” or “don’t worry about housework, just rest as much as you can” and so on is practically outdated in today’s world. And while they say these things with love and out of concern, I can’t help but feel like it is just not as helpful.

I did, however, find a place where mothers like myself shared their experiences or questions about their babies born this year. I went down the social media rabbit hole of 2025 babies and C-section mothers.

In this place, I found solace in the struggles and experiences of people like me. For instance, it wasn’t just my baby who wasn’t burping, it turned out to be a common factor of all the babies born this year!

I watched women share their experiences with their newborns, and I would find myself saying, “Hey my newborn is like that, too!’ I would save the videos and apply the tips learned on my own child to see whether or not they worked for us. Through them sharing their experiences, I was able to preempt what would happen with my child, and be better prepared to handle the situation when it arose. 

For instance, my newborn is just about to hit the four-week mark, but we just came off a tight roller-coaster ride from week three. Before seeing a video shared by a doula, I did not know the three-week blues were a thing. However, as we went through the all night and day grunts, I found myself capable of handling that situation knowing what it was and how long it would last.

As a breastfeeding mother, there is very little to do when breastfeeding a baby. I, therefore, use this time to go online and join my support network. I do not know these people and I barely interact with them, yet in them I found a support group that carries me through the darkest days.