Masturbation remains one of the least discussed topics in Kenyan society. Cultural beliefs and religious teachings have made conversations about it uncomfortable, leaving many people to struggle in silence with questions, guilt or shame.
Medically, masturbation refers to the stimulation of one's own genitals for sexual pleasure, sometimes leading to orgasm. Health experts note that while masturbation itself is common, it can become a concern when it becomes compulsive, causes emotional distress or interferes with relationships, work or other aspects of daily life.
For Ses Kelly* (not her real name), masturbation became a daily habit when she was 14.
She believed it was a safer alternative to sexual intercourse because it eliminated the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. That belief initially eased her fears and reduced her sense of guilt.
But over time, what began as an occasional act became more frequent.
"I went from doing it once a day to three times daily," she recalls.
Eventually, she started watching pornography to intensify the experience. Whenever she was alone, she would lock herself in her room to seek a few minutes of pleasure.
By the age of 22, Ses realised she had become dependent on the habit.
"I kept asking myself how I could ever tell my family or friends. It felt too shameful."
When she finally confided in her elder sister, she received an unexpected response.
"My sister told me she had struggled with the same problem for years before overcoming it."
While in university, Ses deliberately changed her routine to reduce the temptation.
"I made sure I stayed busy and spent less time alone," she says.
Now in her late 30s and married, she says she remains intentional about maintaining healthy habits to avoid slipping back into compulsive behaviour.
BUSY ‘SHOWERING’
For Kevo Fulunzi* (not his real name), masturbation became a coping mechanism during adolescence because he lacked the confidence to approach girls.
"I was very shy and afraid of talking to girls," he says.
Growing up as a pastor's son, he says any close interaction with girls was often interpreted as inappropriate.
"If you were seen with a girl, people assumed you were headed towards fornication."
He says the bathroom became his private escape whenever he experienced strong sexual urges.
"I would spend a lot of time showering. My parents thought I simply loved being clean."
A decade later, Fulunzi says his parents still do not know about his struggle, although the frequency has reduced.
He attributes some of the remaining urges to being in a long-distance relationship.
"I have a girlfriend studying abroad, and sometimes I still masturbate as a way of coping," he says.
He admits the behaviour has occasionally happened while they were on video calls.
"The shame and guilt afterwards are real."
Fulunzi says seeking help from one of his pastors was discouraging because he was simply rebuked rather than counselled.
"I want to stop, but it's not as easy as people think."
TOYING WITH DANGER
Urologist Dr Peter Mungai says masturbation is common among males between the ages of 14 and 30 due to higher testosterone levels during adolescence and early adulthood.
Sexologist Pius Njenga, popularly known as Dagitari Waruinu, says masturbation becomes problematic when it develops into a compulsive behaviour rather than an occasional sexual activity.
He says triggers may include exposure to pornography, peer influence, loneliness, stress, low self-esteem, previous relationship experiences and fear of sexually transmitted infections.
Some people also turn to masturbation because the release of endorphins after orgasm temporarily relieves stress and tension.
Njenga notes that some people use sex toys or household objects during masturbation, practices that may increase the risk of injury or infection if the objects are unsafe or unhygienic.
Regarding possible long-term effects, he says compulsive masturbation, particularly when accompanied by frequent pornography use, may contribute to sexual difficulties for some individuals.
These may include difficulty becoming aroused during partnered sex, delayed ejaculation, premature ejaculation or emotional distress, such as guilt and shame.
For women, he cautions against inserting fruits, vegetables or other non-medical objects into the vagina because they may introduce bacteria or chemical residues, increasing the risk of infection. He also warns against douching, saying it can disrupt the vagina's natural pH balance and increase susceptibility to infections.
Njenga emphasises that recovery is possible.
"You don't have to quit overnight. Reduce the frequency gradually without judging yourself," he advises.
He encourages those struggling with compulsive masturbation to identify their triggers, limit exposure to sexually explicit content, avoid prolonged isolation, develop healthy routines and seek professional counselling where necessary.
"If left unchecked, the behaviour can affect relationships, work and, in severe cases, escalate into inappropriate public behaviour."
MYTHS AND PREVALENCE
Health experts say several widespread beliefs about masturbation have no scientific evidence. These include claims that masturbation causes blindness, leads to infertility, causes weight loss or physical weakness, causes mental illness, shrinks the penis, causes acne, leads to baldness, is only practised by men and is not practised by married people.
Experts say none of these claims has been scientifically proven.
Kenya has no national data on the prevalence of masturbation. Globally, studies suggest the practice is common, although estimates vary depending on the country, age group and survey methods.
Research indicates that up to 96 per cent of men in countries such as the United Kingdom and Germany report having masturbated at some point. Worldwide estimates suggest between 73 and 80 per cent of men have engaged in the practice, while estimates among women range from about 37 to 48 per cent.
Pastor Terry Shiundu of Highway of Holiness Ministry says churches rarely address masturbation openly despite many congregants struggling with it.
She believes conversations should begin at home, although many parents find the subject uncomfortable.
She says people should seek spiritual or psychological support, but feelings of guilt often prevent them from reaching out.
"The church needs to create safe spaces where people can receive counselling instead of suffering in silence," she says.
