This discord began after Jana Craig and Kenny Rodriguez, from season 6 of Love Island broke up after a year of dating.
Although their public posts about their breakup seemed mutual, this facade was soon debunked after Jana’s friends claimed that Kenny was looking for a cop out in his breakup post.
They claimed that for a year, Rodriguez had been chasing clout from being associated with a popular black woman even though he is racist.
These claims sent the internet into hysteria because the possibility of a man pretending to love a woman for a year is the epitome of their personal nightmares.
For Julie Gathoni, single for five years, these posts triggered her in ways she never thought feasible.
Through those posts, Gathoni was taken back to the most difficult part of her life that she thought she had successfully buried.
When Gathoni met her ex-boyfriend, she thought that her fairytale love was coming true.
The coincidence of meeting the love of her life right when she was about to throw in the towel was perceived by Gathoni as her romance stars finally aligning.
In the four years they dated, Gathoni felt like the luckiest girl in the world. For the first time, Gathoni felt like she was being loved in the way she needed to be. Constant attention, sporadic gifts, weekly dates- her boyfriend did not hesitate making her feel adored.
The missing puzzle for Gathoni was meeting her boyfriend’s parents. Gathoni believed that after four years of dating, the next logical step was meeting his parents- they were not getting younger after all.
However, her boyfriend insisted that the time was not right. When Gathoni prodded further, her boyfriend shut down, claiming that he was being backed into a corner.
Immediately assuming that she had not shown enough ‘wifely’ characteristics, Gathoni went above and beyond to prove to her boyfriend that she was worthy enough to meet his parents. Nevertheless, it was all vain because her boyfriend remained unwavering in his decision.
“I have never felt more stupid than the night I discovered that my ex-boyfriend was married with three kids- no wonder I was being hidden like sin,” Gathoni laments.
The moment *Opondi, recently divorced, locked eyes with his ex-wife the first time, he had a gut feeling that she would be trouble.
He should have probably listened to his intuition but after years of robotically going through life, he was excited for a bit of excitement in his life.
What began as a casual relationship blossomed into a beautiful committed relationship. This woman single-handedly brought colour to his life at a point where he had resigned to the world constantly rocking his life.
After three years of dating, there was therefore no question in his mind about marrying this woman.
After a dream proposal and lavish wedding, he was assured of a beautiful journey ahead. In the first year of their marriage, there was nothing but bliss.
All their interactions were pleasant and any arguments were amicably solved immediately.
In fact, Opondi often wondered in that year why their pastor had ‘scared’ them during their pre-marital counselling when talking about challenges in marriage.
However, after the second year of marriage had rolled in, he began grasping the predicament that he was in.
It all began with his wife being more irritable. Things that would normally not offend his wife suddenly became the catalyst to a ticking time bomb.
Crediting these mood swings to the recent birth of their child, he chose to turn a blind eye.
At that moment, he believed that his wife was a true gem and he was willing to go to war for the success of their marriage.
However, after a few months had passed, his wife’s erratic behaviour only got worse.
Periods of silent treatment snowballed to degrading moments that would be perfectly timed by his wife when they were in front of family and friends.
Soon, the only thing that would convince his wife to be more cordial was when her money demands were met.
For days on end, Opondi was berated by his wife about not spending enough money on her family. Even when he lost his job, his wife cared less about where the money would come from.
“When I saw on her search history that she had asked for undetectable ways to kill her husband, I did not have to be told twice to immediately skedaddle,” Opondi explains.
Sharing with The Star, Yvonne Munyi, recently single, was completely oblivious to her ex-boyfriend's malice.
If you had told Munyi that the same man who had pursued her for a year would be the genesis of trauma that will take years of therapy to unpack, she would have thought that you were just one of those bitter single people who were unreasonably skeptical.
Though she found him attractive, she made him put his money where his mouth was. Not willing to go through the heartbreak of a century, she had to confirm that his flirty personality would be put to bed.
The first thing that should have sounded alarm bells for Munyi was when her boyfriend insisted on meeting her parents within the first month of dating.
Prior to this, she had always taken extra precaution when introducing her boyfriends to her parents.
Having experienced the brunt of men pursuing her just to get connections from her affluent parents, she was no longer willing to naively go down the same road.
All in all, she decided against her better judgement to facilitate introduction because she wholeheartedly believed that he boyfriend was head over heels.
Her parents instantly being charmed by her boyfriend was the cherry on top for her.
Her father, who was normally seated stoically in his designated sofa during such meetings, was now chatting animatedly with her boyfriend.
Taking this warm reception as a good sign, Munyi’s little apprehension dissipated.
Soon, her boyfriend was offered a job at the family company. She took this as her man simply wanting to build their future to a point where he could comfortably take care of her needs.
A hardworking man who was willing to go above and beyond for her girl- what more could a woman ask for?
Nevertheless, she soon took off her rose coloured glasses and began noticing the red flags that had been ignored.
To begin with, the vigour that her boyfriend had at the beginning of their relationship quickly simmered down.
Immediately after her boyfriend secured that job, it was as if she ceased to exist.
Initially, she chalked this up to her boyfriend adjusting to a busy work schedule. However, after months of neglect, she began being dubious.
The dagger to Munyi’s heart was when she finally got the whole picture of what was truly transpiring behind her back.
At a house party one night, her boyfriend’s best friend accidentally let the cat out of the bag by informing her that her boyfriend had only wanted to date her because of her parents’ connections.
Whether out of the best friend’s drunken stupor or sheer luck, Munyi was at least glad that the days of being made a fool by her boyfriend were in her rearview.
Completely appalled that she had fallen for the same trap she had been trying to avoid, she angrily confronted her boyfriend.
“Can you imagine his audacity in saying that at least he had not cheated on me- apparently I could not be mad at him trying to secure the bag,” Munyi grimaces.
Gavin Wamalwa, a therapist, explains that no one is immune to being manipulated into a relationship with a partner who is putting up a facade.
It is easy to judge people who fall prey to such tactics when you have fortunately not experienced the same.
In some instances, such manipulative partners are so skilled that they easily gaslight everyone around them to believe that they are in the right.
Therefore, even after the victim leaves the relationship, friends and family might outright call out their trauma as blatant lies.
“If you find yourself in such a relationship, do not allow your manipulative partner to also rob your self-worth when you leave- you are the prize," Wamalwa reiterates.
